Our main reason for the trip to Aswan was to see Abu Simbel, two MASSIVE temples carved into a mountainside during the reign of Pharaoh Ramesses II. In the ‘60s, the temples were cut up into pieces (30 tons at most), moved uphill and reassembled so as to prevent their flooding at the completion of the Aswan Dam. The amount of work and money ($80 million USD) was unprecedented and involved the cooperation between a team from all over the world. The temples were reassembled in their original orientation so that twice a year, every year, the sun can reach the very back of the temple of Ramesses.

Legend has it that the name Abu Simbel comes from the name of a young boy who used to run tours through the temples, similar to Slum Dog Millionaire. Although it only seems to remind me of The Fifth Element.

In order to reach the temples, we need to organise a trip from Aswan, several hours south through the desert, 20km north of Sudan. After much negotiation, our hotel offers us a cheap car for the trip and so begins the hilarity that is Egypt’s world famous customer service.

We’re up at 4am for the trip, and find out at 4:45 that our car is actually a bus and our seats are the foldout sort in the centre aisle, the bus is completely packed and everyone is cramped.

We take off still half asleep, having protested and having no car available. We stop with a group of buses on the outskirts of the city, waiting for other buses to arrive. It seems that we have to travel in a convoy, irrespective of who you organise your trip with, you all still arrive at Abu Simbel at the same time. Some soldiers outside spin some rhetoric about it being better for our safety…

Several hours later, the sun rises over the desert reveals the desert through which we’ve been driving, the desert lies in every direction. The remoteness of the temples explains why it was dormant for so long.

The Great Temple at Abu Simbel took over twenty years to build, dedicated to three gods (Amun, Ra-Horakhty, Ptah) with special guest appearances by the pharaoh himself (Pharaohs are gods too).,

At the entrance to the temple lies this gem of a sign, NO PHOTO INSIDE THE TEMPLE…

… of course that doesn’t stop me (and countless others) from taking photos.

Too bad though, an unexpected Egyptian pops up and tells me I must leave and go to the police. I ignore him and take more pictures when he’s not looking.

The tour continues with:

The Nefertari temple at Abu Simbel.

Monument to Aswan Dam, built by the Soviets and Egyptians, the plaque goes on about the friendship between Arabs and Soviets.

ЗА ДОЛГИЕ ГОДЫ СОВМЕСТНОГО ТРУДА ВЫКОВАЛАСЬ И ЗАКАЛИЛАСЬ АРАБО-СОВЕТСКАЯ ДРУЖБА,НЕ УСТРУПАЮЩАЯ ПО СВОЕЙ ПРОЧНОСТИ САМОЙ ВЫСОТНОЙ АСУАНСКОЙ ПЛОТИНЕ – Гамаль Абдел Насер (Gamal Abdel Nasser)

The fun part of the trip starts when we get to the dam. Half the people on the bus paid for the long tour, including a stop at the dam, the other half paid to go to Abu Simbel and back. The bus driver stops the bus outside and demands an entrance fee from everyone on the bus. Half the bus refuses to pay (ourselves included). The driver tells us we must get off the bus. We refuse, it’s hot out and we don’t want to spend our trip waiting for other people to have a tour. So begins the tensest standoff since the Cuban Missile Crisis.

After much swearing (in Arabic) by the bus driver, we offer the bus driver to get off and wait for him, if he pays each of us baksheesh, this does not help his rage.

Eventually we get off and let him take the guests on the dam tour. Next stop, Philae temple.

Philae Temple, temple complex and the holiest site for Isis worshippers.

The temples are in varying states of restoration, in order to get to the temple you must negotiate for a boat trip out to the island as it’s not included in the ticket price.

Negotiations start at 20 Egyptian pounds each, but we band together and get the return trip for 5 pounds. As we’re leaving, I overhear an Indian guy negotiating his way to 4 pounds. Negotiate like an Indian!

At the end of our trip, our hotel manager gives us some weak explanation as to how we misunderstood car to mean car and not bus (apparently in Egypt anything smaller than a full coach is a car), we don’t really care at this point, we’ve had a blast.

What’s the secret to getting a bad night’s sleep you ask? How about a fourteen hour, all stations train trip from north to south Egypt (Alexandria to Aswan by train)? You can sleep through that? How about being in a smoking carriage the entire way? Still think you can sleep through that? How about if all of the other passengers are insomniacs who listen to music on their phones, chat and smoke the entire trip? If you can sleep through ALL of that, congratulations: You are a seasoned traveller!

After getting into Aswan, waking up to good Egyptian coffee and finding a hotel for the night, we take a ferry across the Nile to visit a Nubian Village.

Nubia is a historic region in Africa, located in Southern Egypt and Northern Sudan. One of Africa’s oldest civilisations, Nubian history dates back to 5000BC. Incorporating parts of Ancient Egyptian culture, such as Pyramid building, Nubians have at times had control over all of Egypt, having conquered it from the Assyrians and Egyptians.

What better place to start a tour of a village than the local school. The kids who show us around are absolutely amazing and so incredibly friendly to boot.

One can only help but wonder what they teach in Nubian schools. Lucky for us, we’re able to go into a classroom, find out they have English lessons and find this absolute gem of a poster:

Modal Verbs “Possibilites”

1. Definitely: The plane will crash.
2. Probably: The plane may crash.
3. Possibly: The plane might crash.
4. Definitely not: The plane won’t crash.

The tour of the village continues after our English lesson.

In Nubian villages, people are incredibly social. There is no dining room, all eating occurs outside. If anyone comes past while the family is eating, they are invited to join in the meal.

If there is a baby in the village, a big party is thrown and streamers are hung in front of the door of the house as in the picture.

Cute Nubian kids can and do PARTY!

The typical house is made from mud bricks, in a similar tradition to many Tibetan houses, though few are as beautifully painted as this one or the following one.

While one can look down on Nubian villages and consider them basic due to the lack of amenities. It is worth wandering in one as Nubians are so incredibly proud to meet strangers and make friends of them. They’re also proud of their heritage and will tell you they’re from Nubia, not Egypt. Read more about Nubian culture.

We’re in Alexandria, a city or rich history founded by Alexander the Great and at the former site of one of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World; Pharos, the lighthouse of Alexandria.

The lighthouse has long since been destroyed, its ruins used in part to build the Citadel of Qaitbay (The Castle of Alexandria) and it’s here that a couple of jokes leads to a friendship that highlights the essence of Egyptian culture.

“Hey, where are you from?” asks one of the Arab guys we’ve seen taking photos in the castle. “Egypt”, I reply jokingly. This sets the entire group off laughing. “Well Mr. Egypt, can we take a photo?”.

Who are we to refuse? We take turns posing for photos and tour the entire castle together, laughing and joking the whole time.

The gang are from all over, Brawy, Zanun and Food Captain are from a small town between Cairo and Alexandria. Samra is from Kuwait and is amazed when he finds that yes, we know where it is and can point it out on a map. Muhammed is from Saudi Arabia and develops a crush on my sister.

When we leave the castle to find my dad, the guys tells us their story. It’s the first time they’ve managed to find time off together, they don’t have enough for a hotel and they don’t need one. They are out partying and enjoying life, they spent two days in Cairo and are now in Alexandria before Samra and Muhammad leave the country. They haven’t slept at all yet!

We talk about the differences between Arab and Western culture; these guys were brought up with the utmost respect for their parents. Every morning, they kiss their parents and tell them how much they love them. Prior to going anywhere, they ask their parents permission. This is how it’s been for centuries and they don’t want life any other way.

Our conversation leads to lunch, lunch leads to tea, tea to dominoes, games and more photos. Egyptian hospitality dictates that one must always look after their guests. The problem is, so does ours. The guys consider us guests in their country, we consider them guests for lunch, so we spend some time taking turns justifying why we should pay for the food.

Tea and dominoes with (L-R) Dasha,  Zanun, Brawy, Food Captain, myself and Mr Dad.

At the end of the day, when everyone is too tired to stay awake and the guys still have a long drive ahead of them, we call it a night.

For the rest of our time in Egypt, we keep in touch with our new friends as Brawy makes sure to call every day and check-up on how we are. He considers it his utmost duty to ensure we have a great time in his homeland, Egypt.